You probably experienced this once in your life… You’re moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone, where you don’t have any family, but also where everything is new. It can be quite overwhelming, right?
My sister is currently in this exact situation: she just moved to a new city where she doesn’t know anyone. She has no friends there, and she just told me that she feels lonely depressed and is getting really bored as she is on her own all the time.
So I gave her some advice in order for her to meet new people and try to make new friends. I thought I should share it with you as well in case if someone is in the same situation.
How can you make friends as an adult?
Here are a few ideas to meet new people who might turn into friends. Who knows?!
1. Make friends by going to classes or joining a club for adults
Going to classes is one of the easiest things to do in my opinion. This is what I did when I arrived in London. I didn’t know anyone but it didn’t stop me to subscribe to classes and I’m glad I did because this is how I met almost all my current friends. So I can guarantee you it works!
I chose to go to dancing classes and singing classes, because I love dancing and singing, I love music and I love learning new things. It’s interesting and challenging to start a new activity, when you don’t know what it is or if you’re going to like it. It’s like a new adventure! But of course, you have a lot of different other alternatives!
You can also choose to go to cooking classes, make-up classes, photography classes, theater classes, etc.
You can eventually even join a club, like a football club, a tennis club or a golf club, for example. If you know that you are already a fan of a sport or an activity, it’s a great way to meet other people who share the same interest than you.
2. Who said your colleagues cannot be your friends?
No, work is not all about business (compared to what I have been told by one of my previous managers). You are allowed to consider your colleagues as friends. I know some people who think that work is all about business and you should therefore only be loyal to your manager. Well, sorry but I don’t agree…
Think about it: Work is a place where you spend an important part of your time, so you should be in a job where you feel happy, but also where you get along well with your colleagues. They have a big influence on your well-being in a company.
By experience, I can tell you that great colleagues can easily turn into friends: I am currently still in contact with colleagues from my previous jobs. Of course, you don’t have to be friends with everyone! You will feel more connected to some people than others and it’s perfectly fine!
Don’t hesitate to propose to your colleagues to go to the cinema, go to an exhibition or go for drinks for instance! It’s a great way to meet them outside of work! If you don’t feel confident asking them to meet outside of work for no reason, then try to propose them to meet for drinks to celebrate a birthday, a new colleague arriving in the company or if someone is getting married. Any occasion is an opportunity to propose them to meet for drinks!
3. Making friends on “Meeting” apps
I’ve never used them personally but some of my friends did, and apparently, it works really well! The concept is quite simple: it’s more or less like dating apps but you’re aiming to meet new friends instead of potential dates. Here are a few app’s names I’ve been recommended to use if want to check them out: Meetup, Bumble and Skout.
Of course, as all online “meeting/dating” apps, please make sure to be careful who you are talking to or who you are meeting with. You never know who is on the other side of the screen!
4. Make friends by going to events
You might need a bit of courage for this one… But what about just going to events by yourself and meet people on the day? For instance, you can go to a dance event, go to the “Race for life” organized by the Cancer Research UK or even go to Photography walk around London, etc.
You shouldn’t be ashamed of going somewhere by yourself. Once you’re there, just start the conversation with strangers. In the worst case scenario, they don’t want to talk and leave. But most of the people are happy to talk. Small talks can turn into interesting conversations and a new friend in the long term. But remember: always smile!
I know that it requires a bit of audacity, but it’s possible. I did it and I survived! I would even recommend it as it makes you work on your shyness and offers you a great challenge: going out of your comfort zone! No better exercise! And you know what?! If you don’t meet anyone, it’s ok as well! If you don’t get to talk to anyone, it’s also fine because it allows you to have a nice “me-moment” instead (for the records, this is as important as finding new friends).
It’s perfectly fine to be happy with your own company 😉
5. Join Facebook groups
If you are a bit too shy for the above options, you can try this instead: join Facebook groups for people with a common interest. For instance, Spanish people in London, Photography fans in London, Football lovers in London, etc.
Check what options exist on Facebook by typing what you are searching in the search tab of facebook and join those groups. In these groups, you will generally see posts of people proposing to other fans of the group to meet to play football, to meet for drinks, to meet to go to an exhibition together, etc.
Never forget that you’re never going to be the only one arriving in a new city without knowing anyone! You will always find another person in the same situation than you. And of course, they will be like you, looking to meet new people!
6. Your housemates could be your new friends
If you’re planning on moving to a new city, why wouldn’t you share a flat with other people? It’s really easy to get to know people when you actually live in the same flat than them. You see them every day, so I let you imagine how easy it can be to share a meal together, cook with each other or just share a few words every day in the kitchen or the living room. They might even invite you for drinks or birthdays of their friends and in these cases, you have strong chances to meet new people.
Here are the few ideas that I thought I should share with you and I really hope that it will help you! I can tell you that it works for sure, as I experienced some of these situations myself when I arrived in London. Some of them might require you to get out of your comfort zone, but it’ a good exercise for your personal development. Overall, it’s worth to give it a try!
And you, have you ever been in this situation? If yes, how did you meet new people and make new friends as an adult?